(Major Spoiler
Warning!) (Major Spoiler Warning!) (Major Spoiler Warning!)
I will be talking about
the whole movie in this post, the whole story will be revealed.
(Major Spoiler
Warning!) (Major Spoiler Warning!) (Major Spoiler Warning!)
It's that time of year
again when The Asylum gives us what they think we want. They are back
with the third installment in their Sharknado series and i must say
that i don't have huge hopes for this one. The two first Sharknado
movies were a struggle to get through and i fear that this one will
be the same.
A huge sharknado unleashes
sharks from Washington D.C. to Orlando, Florida.
The movie starts of with
Fin(played by Ian Ziering who is known for his work on Domino, Lava
Storm, Beverly Hills 90210(TV-Series)) going to get an award from the
president for his heroics in the earlier movies. The first good thing
is that there is no Tara Reid in sight(if you haven't read my
Sharknado 1 or Sharknado 2 opinions let me just say that her acting
is the worst thing in these movies). 8 minutes into the movie we get
our first sharknado. This is actually a good move by the filmmakers
since we already know enough about the sharknados from the two
earlier movies there is no reason to make us wait for the action.
They put us right in there and i like it. This sharknado does
significant damage to Washington D.C. but Fin and the president works
together to survive and the sharknado ends on it's own. Fin's
thoughts go out to April(played by Tara Reid who is known for her
work on American Pie, Van Wilder, Alone in the Dark) who he has
remarried(dammit Fin). She's at Universal Orlando with her daughter
Claudia(played by Ryan Newman who is known for her work on Zoom,
Lover Learning, See Dad Run(TV-Series)) and her mother May(played by
Bo Derek who is known for her work on Tommy Boy, The Master of
Disguise, Malibu's Most Wanted) so Fin decides to go there right
away. On his way to Florida Fin encounters another sharknado but is
rescued by a familiar face. Nova(played by Cassie Scerbo who is known
for her work on Not Today, Bering Sea Beast, Teen Spirit) is back.
She has partnered up with Lucas(played by Frankie Muniz who is known
for his work on Racing Strips, Agent Cody Banks, Malcolm in the
Middle(TV-Series)) and they use their time tracking storms. Fin
hitches a ride from them but a sharknado form in Orlando before they
arrive and they get detoured. They get themselves to a military
airport where Fin has a friend that lets him and Nova borrow a
fighter jet to try to stop the sharknado. While they are taking off
Lucas dies from the sharks tossed from the sharkando. Another
sharknado forms and hits Daytona where the Daytona 500 is underway
and the sharknado kill several people and some drivers. Fin and Nova
tries to blow up the sharknado but it does next to nothing. Up until
now this has been kinda standard, at least in sharknado terms, but
now is the time the movie finds out it has another gear. Fin figured
out that several storms will soon combine into a Sharkicane that will
destroy the entire East Coast. Fin the decides that he need help from
his estranged father, former NASA colonel Gil Shepard(played by David
Hasselhoff who is known for his work on Eurotrip, Anaconda 3:
Offspring, Baywatch(TV-Series)) to destroy the storm from space.
That's the most insane plan i have ever heard. You got to give the
makers credit for creativity. Also, to get Hasselhoff in this is just
fantastic. So Gil, Fin, Nova and April reach NASA headquarters and
finds out that the only solution is to use a top-secret spacecraft to
drop tanks of fuel into the storm, destroying it from orbit. At this
time in the movie i'm actually entertained and laughing like crazy.
Anyway, the plan fails to stop the sharkicane but Gil has a plan b.
Gil says he can deploy a Reagan-era Star Wars satellite from outer
space. Oh, i almost forgot, the pregnant wife of Fin, April, is also
there. Why, because the makers wanted her there, i don't know. But it
can't be good to go into space pregnant. Anyway, they get
instructions on how to use the weapon but something goes wrong and
Gil must sacrifice himself in order to deploy the top-secret laser
weapon. He gets stranded in space but he says its ok, it's where he
wants to be(Awww, no Hasselhoff for a sequel). So this must be the
end. The laser destroys the storm and how much more over the top can
it become? Well, when you use a laser beam to destroy sharknados the
sharks gets propelled into space. So the space shuttle is attacked by
sharks and while Fin is fighting them off with an energy-beam
chainsaw he and April gets eaten by two separate sharks. So this is a
good thing because the sharks fall towards earth and since they are
on the inside they are safe when they enter the atmosphere. Fin gets
out and looks for April, he hears her saw-arm spinning up. A shark
gets cut open and Fin are handed a baby through the shark. That
right, she gave birth inside the shark. She is also fine by the way.
Fin calls the baby Gil after his father who we now see is on the
moon. Fragments from the shuttle come falling down and it looks like
it's going to hit April aaaaaaand it's done. End credits. We get to
see there that the public will decide with hash-tags if April will
survive or die. Oh my god what a crazy movie.
When looking at the
characters Fin is still the best one, not that that's very hard in
this movie. All characters come out as kinda flat with more or less
no development. Fin is always trying to do the right thing no matter
what. Aprils character are still the most annoying one. I wonder if
i'm the only one who means that. I guess ill find out now that they
are doing the hash-tag survey if shes going to live or not. Their
daughter Claudia does very little throughout the whole movie. She
gets some action at the end of the movie but are more or less just
reading of some lines and then stand in the background. Aprils mother
May is extremely annoying. I don't know if she was written that way
so we get an explanation on why April is so annoying but if that's
the case i'm very impressed. This is another character that doesn't
do anything useful throughout the movie. Completely useless character
in my opinion. Lucas was an unnecessary character. He did do
something and had a couple of lines but he had next to no impact on
the story. Luckily the makers saw that he became useless so the
removed him. Gil is an alright character i guess, at least in this
movie. He helps to save the world and he sacrifices himself. Good on
you Hasselhoff. I still think that Tara Reid shows us the weakest
acting in the movie but i will say that Bo Derek is a damn close
second. Ian Zierings acting is decent but very cheesy at times and
Frankie Muniz comes of as whiny. All in all, it just what a sharknado
movie demands.
While sharknado 2 did
nothing new Sharknado 3 actually do. We get the Sharkicane. They go
into space. They take the formula and just run with it and the movie
is better because of it. I had really big laughs at times, which is
more than i can say about the two predecessors. This one is also
filled with cameos and its actually kinda fun to see them all. You
get cameos of Penn & Teller, Lou Ferrigno, Jerry Springer, Grant
Imahara, Chris Jericho, George R.R. Martin, Jedward and many many more. And its so great
to see David Hasselhoff in a movie. This fits him so good. Another
smart thing is that the movie is only 88 minutes long. Had it been
any longer it would get boring really quick. Don't get me wrong now,
this is still a bad movie. The story is over the top stupid, the
special effects still looks like something i could do ten years ago
and some of the acting is so bad that you are sure they are acting
bad. The thing is it's not as bad as the two before it. Its more over
the top and its more fun. So i think that what i'm saying is that if
you like bad movies(as some people do) and want to watch sharknado
you can skip the two first and go straight to this one. This is still
only for the ones with special interests. Its fun but its not enough
to make it worth your time, but they did announce Sharkando 4 so
maybe next time.
TL;DR
Ok start, insane climax.
Its really fun but that's not enough. Bad effects, bad acting, dull
characters. Its way over the top but still not worth your time. It
has some new ideas, some insane plans to stop the sharknados, but its
still not enough. This is the best of the Sharknado movies but it's
still to bad to recommend. I recommend to stay away from this one
unless you really want to throw away 88 minutes.
My question for you:
Is it really necessary with a Sharknado 4?
Do you want April to live or die?
Please
leave a comment(negative,positive, suggestions or/and answers).
Until
next time, stay fresh.
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